Thursday, March 23, 2006

A story of parental angst

I had noticed Rebecca cough occasionally over the last two days. I didn't make much of it, and she wasn't running a temperature. She did seem a little more fussy than normal - but babies are so inconsistent that's it's hard to be certain. However, last night, she started bunches of phlegmy sounding coughs, and was crying inconsolably - very distressed. We called the Telehealth line, which was ultimately very helpful, and we called my parents which was comforting. The worst was that I could hear the phlegminess when she was breathing and that scared me. The last time I had phlegmy breathing was when I had pneumonia. I could also hear sounds that she was swallowing something (presumably mucus), and sometimes trying to cough up something. She did cough up a handful of mucus, which thankfully, was clear with no green, yellow or red. Greg and I were so distressed over Rebecca's health - even though some part of my brain knew that everything would probably be o.k. and normal, I just felt like a helpless child. I was so worried that something bad would happen to Rebecca and I wouldn't be able to protect her. And naturally, when you love someone a great deal, watching them suffer is a special kind of torment. Anyhow, she is still sick - but the fact that she was able to cough stuff up is apparently a very good sign - it means she is able to clear stuff out of her system. So today, my day with Rebecca will focus on cuddling and sleeping.

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