I am about 9 weeks pregnant and I have had my second prenatal appointment. Everything seems good so far. We tried to hear the heartbeat on the Doppler, but it's really too early for that. I'm not concerned since I saw the heartbeat on the ultrasound I had at the Civic.
Not concerned is a good word for the experience of a second pregnancy. The first time, I read something about pregnancy every single day. I had a stack of books, magazines and organizers at my bedside, and I spent a lot of time imagining and planning.
Now, I have no time, and I have none of the anxiety of my first pregnancy. It isn't the focus of all my attention, it's more like something in the background - important, but not central. This is not to say that it is any less important to us, but with a toddler running around, the approach to pregnancy is naturally, somewhat different.
All the same, I am coming to realize that I have got to be more realistic about what I can and can't handle physically right now. According to my GP, last week was the normal peak for queasiness - no wonder I felt so sick at Elizabeth's wedding. But I have a good stash of hard sour candies to get me through the rest of this horrid trimester. I am probably going to arrange to ditch my compressed work hours because it is more than I can handle right now. I think I'm running myself into the ground. I've been sick, which is really uncommon for me while pregnant. I will continue to have my second Friday with Becca but I will just burn leave to do it. For me, it's worth it because losing my sanity isn't desirable. Rebecca has been having a lot of difficulty sleeping lately and I am a big pushover instead of being firm. It's because I feel guilty for coming home and handling her with super low energy levels instead of my normal exuberance. But, it's not helping either of us in the long run if I crawl into the toddler bed to help her settle.