Monday, April 7, 2008

Uncharted territory

Well, tomorrow I am at full term (37 weeks), so unless Lucy appears in the next four hours, she is going to be my first non-premature baby. Maybe this means that certain things will be easier! Maybe I won't have to stay in the hospital so long, and maybe they won't force me to wake her up every two hours, and maybe she will have mastered the suck/swallow reflex properly. Who knows?!?!
Unfortunately, I am not convinced that this uncharted territory means my blog will be full of unique insights (as opposed to rewarmed thoughts from the last time). My big revelation this morning was that the combination of cankles and oedema make for easier (i.e. less bloody) leg shaving - none of those awkward little divets and angles.
To sum up: I am super-uncomfortable and I want this to be over. Handling my toddler is becoming exceptionally challenging when she chooses to be difficult. You don't realize how often you simply have to dominate them physically (not in a scary or nasty way - in a "let's be safe" way, or in a "despite your temper tantrum, it's nap time" way). It took me ten minutes to get Becca into her car seat this morning. By the end I was ready to cry and scream at the same time, and my back was killing me. My inability to exert physical control means that I am reluctant to do a lot of things with her that I would like to. It's o.k. if another adult is with me, but otherwise, it's no-go. The weather has been sunny and gorgeous, but I don't even dare take her to the park because if she's tired, or refuses to leave, and bribery fails, then I am screwed. And frankly, I wear out before she does. The same applies to any place she finds interesting or fascinating and does not involve a cart with a belt - museums, malls, fields etc. Grocery trips were o.k., but when she fights getting into the car seat, or into the cart, it is frustrating beyond belief. Things will be so busy once Lucy arrives, it would be nice to spend fun time with Rebecca now while I still can do so easily. And I don't want fun time to be exclusively indoors. Maybe I just have to be more realistic about my limitations.

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