These are the things that are different between a first and second delivery. I wanted to write them down because there were some surprises for me:
1 - Labour is a lot shorter for a second delivery, especially the pushing stage (hooray!)
2 - Because the pushing part goes faster, it can mean more lacerations than a first delivery (unhooray!)
3 - The really brutal thing about a second delivery is the after pains. The contractions that occur for three or four days following the delivery are as brutal as some of the contractions near the end of labour, and can actually recreate the sensations you experienced. For example, I had a revisitation of my nausea and actually had to run to the bathroom after feeding Lucy because I was ready to throw up. These pains peak during each breastfeeding session, and then dissipate. They can be so painful that the nurses will actually offer you morphine. I almost had some, but managed to grit my teeth through until they were more manageable. I don't know why it is - but generally, women barely feel the after pains after a first delivery. (unhooray!)
4 - Managing a new baby the second time around is much less stressful, and you feel more confident (hooray!)
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Friday, April 18, 2008
My version of Lucy's big day
A little bit of Rashomon for our devoted readers...
I was dreading the weekend - Greg had commitments (work and otherwise) that spanned five days, and I honestly didn't think I could physically endure toddler-wrangling in my physical state for all that time. I was desperately uncomfortable and in my heart of hearts hoped that the baby would come on the weekend. After all, it would be easier for me, and most convenient for everyone involved. It seems as though Lucy heard my unspoken prayers.
That Saturday morning - April 12th, Greg got up early to get ready for an 8am shift at work. We had had a roughish night with Rebecca, and when we opened up her door to check on her, we discovered she was buck naked on top of her sheets. I broke my water when I went for my morning pee. It was a medium gush - not like the huge volume involved with breaking my water for Rebecca, but nor was it a simple trickle. Because I had just woken up, and because I went pee, I wasn't 100% certain right away. However, since the fluid is regenerated and continues to leak, it was soon apparent what was going on. I felt overwhelmingly excited and and relieved. I was able to stop Greg from leaving the house, and we began to get things rolling. Unfortunately, I did manage to go through multiple pairs of pants before making it to the hospital - despite my best efforts to contain the flow of fluid. It is a very odd feeling because the liquid is so warm. My parents came over to look after Rebecca - and we all had breakfast together. My sister was also able to make it - which may or may not have been possible on a different day. The procedures were the same as for Rebecca - we called obstetric triage and were told to come in. Since I was not in labour, it was felt that I would probably be sent home again, but all the same, they needed to have a look at my situation. My father drove us all to the hospital. Once at the hospital, I handed over my prenatal records - which unfortunately lacked the Group B strep results. Fortunately, they were able to track them down - and I was negative again. They verified that I really had broken my water by testing a fluid sample. There was a lot of waiting involved, and I spilled enough fluid to soak even more clothing, which was awkward and uncomfortable. I was hooked up to several monitors - for blood pressure, fetal heart rate, and contractions. Lucy was doing great, but as for me, my blood pressure was high. They asked me about this, and I described the blood and urine tests from Wednesday. Although I gave them the name of the lab, they were unable to track down the results, and I was told I would have to give samples again. I thought they were going to let me go, but one of the nurses was concerned about my pre-eclampsia, and also thought the monitor showed mild contractions (this was true), so they decided to take me to a delivery room.
We settled into the room, and I was told someone would come by to take the needed blood samples. At the same time, they would hook me up to an IV in order to eventually enable the delivery of pitocin for induction. I believe this was due to the blood pressure issue. It took four attempts for the nurses to get the right vein - I was surprised because I have been told I have good veins and I have never encountered this problem previously. My hands and wrists are still covered in bruises to this day. The administration of the pitocin certainly moved things along, and every half hour, someone would come by to jack up the dose. I think the pitocin started at 1pm or so. Eventually, the pain was excruciating enough so as to be incapacitating. However, because I find the dilation examination to be infinitely worse than bad contractions, I held out on pain relief for as long as I could. The magic number was 6pm. If I could make it to 6pm, I would probably be dilated enough that I could be given an epidural and the pain would go away. I wanted at all costs to avoid more than one unmedicated dilation check. I don't really know why they cause me so much pain, but they do! When 6pm arrived, I was in tears and incapable of much else. I felt as though I was in a tunnel where the world had shrunk into just myself and the pain. No means of comfort seemed effective. I was given nitronox to undergo the dilation check - and it was agony all the same. I felt terrible for all the crying and protests of pain, but... I was 3cm and they took pity on me (before, they said they would wait until 4cm for an epidural) and sent the anesthesiologist. At this point, the contractions were brutal, with Lucy kicking in between them! What was worse, was that they had to make four different attempts to get the epidural needle properly inserted. The bruises on my back make the ones on my hands look pleasant. Once the pain relief took effect, I felt that I had my personality back, and that I might actually be able to interact with people and enjoy the delivery. After that point, the labour progressed very quickly (especially compared to my experience with Rebecca). Before I knew it - we were at the pushing stage. As we approached this point, I began to have uncontrollable shakes, and I felt very nauseous. The shakes continued for quite some time, but, with some controlled breathing, they eventually subsided. The pushing stage only took 45 minutes this time, and unlike Rebecca, Lucy never slipped back, and I never needed oxygen. Lucy's head was not properly oriented, and she had to be shift somewhat, but that went fairly smoothly. Near the final pushes, I threw up nine times in quick succession. It was fairly projectile, and I nailed poor Greg. I felt a lot better afterwards, and I was able to push more effectively - holding my breath was easier when I no longer felt I was inhabiting the edge of puking. The doctor (not my OB - he was out of town) asked Greg whether he wanted to cut the cord. Greg said he would, then, as the baby's head emerged, I saw the doctor snipping at something. I figured the something was me, but then, after the last push, they whisked the baby away. And it was silent. I didn't understand what was going on - but I knew I should be hearing a baby crying. I asked Greg, but he didn't know or he didn't answer, I don't know which. I couldn't see full details across the room because I didn't have my glasses on, but I saw them squeezing an air bag into the baby. By them I mean the sudden crowd of people who had appeared out of nowhere. Then, I heard the baby - and Greg cried, so I knew it was o.k. An alarm went off, but they stopped it. While Greg and Elizabeth were able to go look at the baby, I lay on the bed delivering the placenta. Eventually I got to hold Lucy - but it seemed like I had to wait forever. She was incredibly alert, and immediately breast fed like a pro. She also looked properly flabby and very healthy - not too bruised. The contrast to my premature Rebecca was really quite astounding. I was stitched up, washed off, and wheeled away with Greg and Lucy - and that is my version of the big day.
I was dreading the weekend - Greg had commitments (work and otherwise) that spanned five days, and I honestly didn't think I could physically endure toddler-wrangling in my physical state for all that time. I was desperately uncomfortable and in my heart of hearts hoped that the baby would come on the weekend. After all, it would be easier for me, and most convenient for everyone involved. It seems as though Lucy heard my unspoken prayers.
That Saturday morning - April 12th, Greg got up early to get ready for an 8am shift at work. We had had a roughish night with Rebecca, and when we opened up her door to check on her, we discovered she was buck naked on top of her sheets. I broke my water when I went for my morning pee. It was a medium gush - not like the huge volume involved with breaking my water for Rebecca, but nor was it a simple trickle. Because I had just woken up, and because I went pee, I wasn't 100% certain right away. However, since the fluid is regenerated and continues to leak, it was soon apparent what was going on. I felt overwhelmingly excited and and relieved. I was able to stop Greg from leaving the house, and we began to get things rolling. Unfortunately, I did manage to go through multiple pairs of pants before making it to the hospital - despite my best efforts to contain the flow of fluid. It is a very odd feeling because the liquid is so warm. My parents came over to look after Rebecca - and we all had breakfast together. My sister was also able to make it - which may or may not have been possible on a different day. The procedures were the same as for Rebecca - we called obstetric triage and were told to come in. Since I was not in labour, it was felt that I would probably be sent home again, but all the same, they needed to have a look at my situation. My father drove us all to the hospital. Once at the hospital, I handed over my prenatal records - which unfortunately lacked the Group B strep results. Fortunately, they were able to track them down - and I was negative again. They verified that I really had broken my water by testing a fluid sample. There was a lot of waiting involved, and I spilled enough fluid to soak even more clothing, which was awkward and uncomfortable. I was hooked up to several monitors - for blood pressure, fetal heart rate, and contractions. Lucy was doing great, but as for me, my blood pressure was high. They asked me about this, and I described the blood and urine tests from Wednesday. Although I gave them the name of the lab, they were unable to track down the results, and I was told I would have to give samples again. I thought they were going to let me go, but one of the nurses was concerned about my pre-eclampsia, and also thought the monitor showed mild contractions (this was true), so they decided to take me to a delivery room.
We settled into the room, and I was told someone would come by to take the needed blood samples. At the same time, they would hook me up to an IV in order to eventually enable the delivery of pitocin for induction. I believe this was due to the blood pressure issue. It took four attempts for the nurses to get the right vein - I was surprised because I have been told I have good veins and I have never encountered this problem previously. My hands and wrists are still covered in bruises to this day. The administration of the pitocin certainly moved things along, and every half hour, someone would come by to jack up the dose. I think the pitocin started at 1pm or so. Eventually, the pain was excruciating enough so as to be incapacitating. However, because I find the dilation examination to be infinitely worse than bad contractions, I held out on pain relief for as long as I could. The magic number was 6pm. If I could make it to 6pm, I would probably be dilated enough that I could be given an epidural and the pain would go away. I wanted at all costs to avoid more than one unmedicated dilation check. I don't really know why they cause me so much pain, but they do! When 6pm arrived, I was in tears and incapable of much else. I felt as though I was in a tunnel where the world had shrunk into just myself and the pain. No means of comfort seemed effective. I was given nitronox to undergo the dilation check - and it was agony all the same. I felt terrible for all the crying and protests of pain, but... I was 3cm and they took pity on me (before, they said they would wait until 4cm for an epidural) and sent the anesthesiologist. At this point, the contractions were brutal, with Lucy kicking in between them! What was worse, was that they had to make four different attempts to get the epidural needle properly inserted. The bruises on my back make the ones on my hands look pleasant. Once the pain relief took effect, I felt that I had my personality back, and that I might actually be able to interact with people and enjoy the delivery. After that point, the labour progressed very quickly (especially compared to my experience with Rebecca). Before I knew it - we were at the pushing stage. As we approached this point, I began to have uncontrollable shakes, and I felt very nauseous. The shakes continued for quite some time, but, with some controlled breathing, they eventually subsided. The pushing stage only took 45 minutes this time, and unlike Rebecca, Lucy never slipped back, and I never needed oxygen. Lucy's head was not properly oriented, and she had to be shift somewhat, but that went fairly smoothly. Near the final pushes, I threw up nine times in quick succession. It was fairly projectile, and I nailed poor Greg. I felt a lot better afterwards, and I was able to push more effectively - holding my breath was easier when I no longer felt I was inhabiting the edge of puking. The doctor (not my OB - he was out of town) asked Greg whether he wanted to cut the cord. Greg said he would, then, as the baby's head emerged, I saw the doctor snipping at something. I figured the something was me, but then, after the last push, they whisked the baby away. And it was silent. I didn't understand what was going on - but I knew I should be hearing a baby crying. I asked Greg, but he didn't know or he didn't answer, I don't know which. I couldn't see full details across the room because I didn't have my glasses on, but I saw them squeezing an air bag into the baby. By them I mean the sudden crowd of people who had appeared out of nowhere. Then, I heard the baby - and Greg cried, so I knew it was o.k. An alarm went off, but they stopped it. While Greg and Elizabeth were able to go look at the baby, I lay on the bed delivering the placenta. Eventually I got to hold Lucy - but it seemed like I had to wait forever. She was incredibly alert, and immediately breast fed like a pro. She also looked properly flabby and very healthy - not too bruised. The contrast to my premature Rebecca was really quite astounding. I was stitched up, washed off, and wheeled away with Greg and Lucy - and that is my version of the big day.
Alligator baby
I just want to sing the praises of "Alligator Baby" by Robert Munsch. Rebecca makes me read this book to her at least twice a day. She seems to have already memorized it, and it literally makes her shriek with delight. We have other Munsch works in our library, but this one is currently her favourite - it was a present from her Nanny while we were at the hospital acquiring Lucy.
Adjusting to big sisterhood
The transition from only child to big sister is not easy... I was concerned that the experience might be difficult for Rebecca, so during my pregnancy, I spent time researching approaches for minimizing or soothing any feelings of resentment, jealousy or displacement.
I made sure that when we came home from the hospital, the new baby had a present for Rebecca, and that Rebecca's first view of me after several days absence was not one of me clutching a small usurper. The gift from Lucy worked almost too well - Rebecca was so thrilled to receive it, that she ignored Lucy completely. Over the next few days, she began to become curious, and at this point she is curious and affectionate. She gives Lucy lots of kisses and hugs, and is interested in watching her. One thing I didn't expect, was that Rebecca would find it very distressing to hear Lucy cry - she becomes concerned that Lucy is sad or that something is wrong - she tries to make Lucy happy again, and that empathy is very touching to see. Sometimes Rebecca herself will start crying or she will pretend to cry. At these times, I try to comfort her, and explain that crying is Lucy's only means of communication, and that for Lucy - crying can mean many different things. Hopefully, with enough repetition and exposure, Rebecca will come to understand this better.
We have seen a bit of reversion behaviour - Rebecca tried to sleep in the Moses basket, and also attempted to drink from Lucy's bottles, sit in her car seat, and climb into her stroller.
I think Rebecca missed us while we were in the hospital, but was so thrilled to be spending time with her grandparents, that she wasn't too terribly distraught. However, the fact that Lucy was with us to stay only really seemed to hit home one night when we sat down to supper and I was feeding Lucy at the table. Since then, there has been some weirdly contradictory behaviour - asking for one thing and then being angry to get it, and a lot of drama. Her normal extraversion seems to have switched to shyness - even with family members, so I guess she is feeling a bit insecure right now. Definitely, there have been more tears and more sobbing than is normal for Becca, and she needs extra hugs and attention.
Eletenement
This is Rebecca's word for elephant: Eletenement.
I know that Greg could have posted this in a really funny way, but we're so busy that I worried we might forget it - and it's so funny.
I know that Greg could have posted this in a really funny way, but we're so busy that I worried we might forget it - and it's so funny.
Monday, April 14, 2008
My version of events
I was getting ready to leave for work on Saturday morning. Due at work at 8am I was jogging out the door at around 7:35 or so. As I was tying my shoes Madeleine told me not to go to work, her water had broke.
We waited for reinforcements to arrive (the Paradis clan, Nanny, Grampa and auntie Liz). We headed to the hospital to get checked out. Depending on the results of some tests and the progress of the labor they were either going to send Madeleine home to wait for things to progress or check her in. Round about noon we were in an evaluation room and got the word that her contractions were coming along and we may as well get settled into the delivery room.
Madeleine was put on some oxytocin (after three or four tries to get a good vein) to help things along. If memory serves around 6:30 or so she examined and found to be ~3-4cm dilated. She was getting quite uncomfortable by this point, but the results of the examination meant she could get her epidural. She got her needle in the spine after a few tries (see a theme?). This was eagerly anticipated by this point, as she was having real trouble with the pain from the contractions. By 9pm she was 8 or 9cm dilated, and the doctor was called in for the final stages of delivery.
The pushing phase went MUCH more smoothly than last time around. At 10:20 Lucy was born.
As her head came out it became obvious that the umbilical cord was up around her neck, but there wasn't enough slack for the doctor to pull it up over her head. What this meant was that he had to clamp it and cut it, which of course cuts off the blood supply to the baby. He clamped the cord, cut it, and asked Madeleine for one big push and she came out pretty quickly. They rushed her across the room and huddled over her, clearing fluid out of her mouth. I got nervous when they started using a little mask and bulb to help her breathe. Madeleine asked why Lucy wasn't crying, and I was at a loss for words. Noone had said anything particularly soothing or encouraging after she came out, which worried me. All of a sudden the room seemed like it had filled up with people. I would learn later it was the fetal resuscitation unit. As they filed in though I heard a little cough, then another, then a little cry. Finally someone said that her heart rate was ok and people immediately started to melt away. All in all it was probably about a minute after the cord was clamped, but it seemed like forever. At this point a bell started going off and a page went out calling people to our room. This really drove home how concerned everyone was just a few seconds ago.
Lucy perked up within a minute or two and was moving and looking around, really very alert. Much more so than Rebecca.
A few minutes later things were tidied up and cleared away, and mom and baby had a nice little first feeding session, which went a lot better than last time around. It is really obvious that Lucy had a couple more weeks gestation than her bigger sister.
She's beautiful, and seems healthy, and cute as a button.
We waited for reinforcements to arrive (the Paradis clan, Nanny, Grampa and auntie Liz). We headed to the hospital to get checked out. Depending on the results of some tests and the progress of the labor they were either going to send Madeleine home to wait for things to progress or check her in. Round about noon we were in an evaluation room and got the word that her contractions were coming along and we may as well get settled into the delivery room.
Madeleine was put on some oxytocin (after three or four tries to get a good vein) to help things along. If memory serves around 6:30 or so she examined and found to be ~3-4cm dilated. She was getting quite uncomfortable by this point, but the results of the examination meant she could get her epidural. She got her needle in the spine after a few tries (see a theme?). This was eagerly anticipated by this point, as she was having real trouble with the pain from the contractions. By 9pm she was 8 or 9cm dilated, and the doctor was called in for the final stages of delivery.
The pushing phase went MUCH more smoothly than last time around. At 10:20 Lucy was born.
As her head came out it became obvious that the umbilical cord was up around her neck, but there wasn't enough slack for the doctor to pull it up over her head. What this meant was that he had to clamp it and cut it, which of course cuts off the blood supply to the baby. He clamped the cord, cut it, and asked Madeleine for one big push and she came out pretty quickly. They rushed her across the room and huddled over her, clearing fluid out of her mouth. I got nervous when they started using a little mask and bulb to help her breathe. Madeleine asked why Lucy wasn't crying, and I was at a loss for words. Noone had said anything particularly soothing or encouraging after she came out, which worried me. All of a sudden the room seemed like it had filled up with people. I would learn later it was the fetal resuscitation unit. As they filed in though I heard a little cough, then another, then a little cry. Finally someone said that her heart rate was ok and people immediately started to melt away. All in all it was probably about a minute after the cord was clamped, but it seemed like forever. At this point a bell started going off and a page went out calling people to our room. This really drove home how concerned everyone was just a few seconds ago.
Lucy perked up within a minute or two and was moving and looking around, really very alert. Much more so than Rebecca.
A few minutes later things were tidied up and cleared away, and mom and baby had a nice little first feeding session, which went a lot better than last time around. It is really obvious that Lucy had a couple more weeks gestation than her bigger sister.
She's beautiful, and seems healthy, and cute as a button.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
She's here!
She arrived on the 12th at 10:20pm or thereabouts, weighing in at 7 pounds 12 ounces and measuring around 52 cm. I'll leave the birth story details for later, as I'm due back at the hospital for dinner again (just came home for a shower and change of clothes).
She's lovely, and alert, and seems to be getting a much better hang of breastfeeding than big sister did. Even if that doesn't work out though, we're not stressing, look how Rebecca turned out! :)
She's lovely, and alert, and seems to be getting a much better hang of breastfeeding than big sister did. Even if that doesn't work out though, we're not stressing, look how Rebecca turned out! :)
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